Some things should only be done in the privacy of your shower

When I envisioned it, I didn't get caught.

One element of my wakesurfing training that was recommended by Evan was visualization. Many accomplished athletes use visualization as a form of mental rehearsal. For example, Wayne Gretzky reports that he would visualize a game in which he could see himself skating to where he sensed the puck was coming next. Tiger Woods visualized the perfect swing…over and over again (I wonder if he visualized cheap whores at the end of each hole – oops, offside!) The 1989 Grey Cup Champions, the Saskatchewan Roughriders, (whoot whoot) actually placed a piece of tape on their finger prior to the Grey Cup final, visualizing the Championship ring….and everyone in Saskatchewan knows how that one turned out!

Athletes swear by visualization. Science supports it. Brain imaging studies show that when we visualize ourselves performing an activity, the same neural pathways and chemicals are activated as when we actually perform the activity. Essentially, we are tricking our brain into thinking that we are doing it. So if we continually visualize ourselves doing an activity successfully, our brain doesn’t ask any questions. It just thinks that we are awesome! So what if I can’t ride behind the boat in the middle of March. My brain doesn’t have to know that. Perfect. I’m totally ready to trick my brain into thinking that I am the wakesurfing champion of the world.

Ev suggested that my visualization occur during a routine activity occurring at the same time every day. I chose the shower. I shower before I go to bed. The shower is my “happy place” in our home. I specifically designed our bathroom in our new house to promote relaxation and pure joy. I could spend hours in that shower. My first experience with visualization was a little harder than I had anticipated. As I rinsed the conditioner out of my hair, I tried to picture myself on the wakesurf board, behind Drew’s boat. My brain immediately got off topic.

Hmmm….what color is Drew’s boat anyway? Does he have to pay for those boats? I bet he doesn’t because he’s so awesome. That would be so cool. Perhaps someday someone will send me a boat because I’m so awesome. This conditioner sucks. Haha, it reminds me of Billy Madison, “Shampoo is better!” Has Adam Sandler been in anything lately? Man, 'Inception' was such a good movie. What if, like, this isn’t my reality? Freaky!! Are these even my real hands? Who knows?  Haha, I like that part in Bridesmaids when she’s giving the speech at the shower and starts singing Wind beneath my wings...is that what she sings? Speaking of shower, I’m supposed to be visualizing!!!

Ugggghhhh! Why is it so hard to just focus on being awesome behind Drew’s boat?

So I practiced. Every night in the shower my visualizations became more vivid and focused. By the 10^th straight day, I actually caught myself moving my feet subconsciously as I visually performed my shove-it. I smiled as I imagined Drew and Ev cheering from the boat as I performed the 360 rotation. My showers became longer. Confidence was high. I began watching videos of amateur riders after my shower, heckling, “That’s all you got? Look Ev. I’m better than this chick.” I actually began to think that I was awesome.

By day 11, I began to run into some minor difficulties. My performance-enhancing visualizations began turning into distracting daydreams. I found that as soon as my mind was not focused on a particular topic/duty, it wandered back to the lake – the gator-less lake, of course (Drew promised) J

As I stood at the Nurses desk, writing orders for a patient, I felt my pen stop and my mind wander to a beautiful Florida Day.

I was riding the wave with ease and fluidness as The Offspring’s “You’re gonna go far kid,” cranked out of the speakers. I was not stooped over. I was tall, bending at the knees. With perfect balance, I squatted down on the board, placed my weight on my front hand and slowly raised my back leg in the air. Just a little further….

Dr. U: Yes, um, is Mr. Brown able to swallow or do we need to insert a feeding tube?

Um…wha? Oh, a Dr was actually asking me a question about a patient. Frick, Dr. U, give me like 1 minute. I was just about to execute a perfect “fire hydrant.” Ugh. Talk about bad timing. GAWD!

Once my dream bubble popped and I was thrown harshly back into the reality of my position as Speech-Language Pathologist at the hospital, I realized that my performance visualizations had gone bad. I vowed at that moment to keep the visualizations in the shower. There are some things that should only be done in the privacy of your shower. Visualization is one of them.

The good news is: my brain thinks I’m fricken awesome.