October Goal: Jam to Pearl Jam...on the flute

This one time at band camp...

This is what dreams are made of

You laugh, but that's actually how the story kind of begins. Let me set this up for you:

It was September 1991. Picture a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed (spiral permed) 12 year old girl, fidgeting in her desk, anxiously awaiting the arrival of Mr. M - Vickers School's "celebrity" band teacher. Mr. M was a favorite with the kids - not only could he play any and every instrument ever invented (including the bagpipes), but he was "cool". Mr. M lobbied to send his bands to exotic locales such as Moose Jaw and Lloydminster for band competitions. What 7th grader doesn't love traveling on a bus for 4 hours? Today was the big day. It was beginner band "try-outs." Basically, Mr. M entered the grade 7 classroom, armed with every instrument in the band, allowed each student to give every instrument a whirl (a quick whirl), and then made recommendations regarding which instrument was most suitable for that particular student.

Ask them  - pretty sure they played the flute

The little girl waited patiently as her classmates banged on the drums, tooted on the horns, and strummed on the bass. Finally, Mr. M released "it" from it's case. Shimmering silver, Mr. M gently placed the delicate instrument in his hands. "And this, class...is the flute." The little girl gasped. Oh how she dreamed of playing such an elegant, stylish instrument. Plus, everyone knew that all Vickers School flutists were "cool girls" (the girls with the biggest bangs - AKA the "waterfall" or the "claw")

"Who would like to try the flute?"

8 hands belonging to wannabe big-banged 7th grade girls shot up.  Mr. M called on the little girl, who enthusiastically raced to the front. She felt electricity from the powerful instrument as the cold silver touched her lips. This would change her life. Visions of hairspray, band trips, and beautiful flutey tunes danced through her brain. The little girl pursed her lips (that's what flute players did) and blew. Nothing. She blew harder. Nothing. She blew faster. Nothing. Desperate, she began whistling - hoping for a noise. Any noise. Mr. M nodded supportively, "The flute's not for everyone. Sometimes your lips just aren't made for playing the flute."
The little girl heard: "You are a failure and have freakishly abnormal lips." (everything's really dramatic when you're 12).

The next day, the little girl received a neatly folded piece of paper containing the instrument recommendation from Mr. M. Hoping for a miracle, she unfolded it and gasped:

LAME

Recommended Instrument: CLARINET  

Not Katrina, but close - perfect "claw" bang

Shit. The clarinet? Wasn't the clarinet like the default instrument -saved for the kids who were epic failures at life? (no offense if you played the clarinet with pride). Honk. Honk. Honk. Brutal. The little girl glanced over at Katrina Harnett's paper (side note: Katrina, if you read this, e-mail me! :) Katrina had the best hair in grade 7. Top bang curled back, held firmly in place with a bottle of Vidal Sassoon, bottom bang neatly curled under with a 3" barrelled iron. Katrina had "the claw" styled to perfection. Sure enough, there it was in black ink, "FLUTE."

Damn.

Now, this may come as a shock to you, but this "little girl" that I speak of...

Is me.

Now don't go getting all angry with Mr. M. To be fair, I don't think that he was even aware of my flute-playing dreams. Otherwise, I'm sure he would have spent more time trying to teach me. It wasn't his fault that I angrily honked on that friggin clarinet for 3 years of my junior high band career.

Now I understand that the flute isn't uber exciting (I can see Ryan's wide disbelieving eyes, "The F'n Flute, Kirst?"). But...THIS will be awesome. Trust me. To make it a little more interesting, I will be attempting a simple Pearl Jam melody (totally getting ahead of myself, given that I do not know if I can actually produce a sound). Although the "music center" in my brain has been activated before (I did play a little piano as a kid and my BFF (Janna) and I shared the PA Music Festival honors for "best duet" in 1989 when we played a magical rendition of "This land is Your Land" on the recorder), this will definitely challenge me to retrieve those "lost" musical skills (Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge?) whilst :) confronting my flute fears/painful memories head on.

Bring it on!