Happy Birthday To Me!

I turned 33 this weekend! I like birthdays. It's your very own special day (although I was shocked to find that a co-worker shared my April 21 birthday - I thought I had dibs on that date).  I honestly don't understand those people who claim to hate their birthdays or develop anxiety when they turn another year older. It's definitely hard for me to believe that I'm 33. I feel about 25 (other than the bum knee); however, I'm embracing it. It's a nice double digit. The sum of digits equals 6 which must mean something fabulous? The alternative to NOT turning 33 is death. I choose the birthday,thank you very much.   

My niece did my b'day hair and makeup for me. Inspiration: "Jem and the Rockers"

33 years of life means 33 years of experience. I'm sure that I still have LOTS to learn, but if I was able to go back in time and slip myself a dozen recommendations to follow for the next 33 years, here is the advice that I would provide for myself:


1) You will be an angry toddler. That's ok. Get that anger out. But when you select a surface to bang your head on, try to choose carpet or something on the the softer side. You need those brain cells and there's a possibility that their loss may have contributed to lower math scores in high school.


2)You don't need to eat Grandma's pudding with sprinkles every day. Take a few days off. Throw in a salad. You will thank me in Grade 2 when your crush isn't following you home from school taunting, "Booombubba, Booombubba!"


3) Don't participate in bullying the "odd" girl in grade 4. This poor girl will find out later in life that she's suffering from a mental illness. She has a tough road ahead of her. Be kind. 


4) Around age 14-16, you will think that you are WAY smarter than your parents. You're not. You're an idiot with teenage frontal lobe brain damage who steals their vodka. Shame on you. Show them the respect that they deserve (and choose the rum instead of the vodka - they're less likely to notice missing rum. Just kidding!). 


5) Don't ever be the "drunk girl," "crying girl," or "fighting girl" at parties. Strive to always be the "fun girl" that people want to be around. 

6) Always surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself. Make friends with as many different people as you can, regardless of their social status. The "skaters" and "punks" will end up being your most loyal friends later in life.


7) You will question your relationship with Evan time and time again (especially in 2001 when he forgets your b'day. So jerky, but he will make it up to you). Stick with him. He's the best thing that ever happens to you.


8) Keep practicing those headstands. It's "your" thing. People will request them at social events. They make people happy.


9) Sometimes life sucks. Never question who you are. Remember #6, stay as positive as you can, and change whatever it is that is sucking. Don't be the victim.


10) You will think that the "Shania Twain" denim vest worn over a belly top looks super sexy. It doesn't. Take it off right now. You are NOT Shania Twain. If you do wear it, ensure no one gets photographic evidence.


11) For God's sakes, don't make a "life plan timeline." (i.e I will be married by age 28 with 2 children and a fabulous career). Worst idea ever. If you don't achieve those goals, you will be disappointed. If you do achieve those goals, you will be disappointed (This is it?). Your goals will change frequently throughout your life and that's OK. Be flexible to those changes. 


12) Do it now. Don't wait. Tell people how much they mean to you NOW. Go diving with sharks NOW. Stalk a world champion athlete on facebook NOW. For all we know, we might not get tomorrow - let's do it tonight. Take those words, turn them into song lyrics, call up a dude named "Pitbull" and make millions. BOOM.


Bonus Tip: Keep your car clean. You don't want to be known as "The girl with the disgusting car who applies hairy lipgloss" 


Happy Sunday everyone! I'm off to clean the Grand Am - for real this time!