June Goal: Grow cartilage whilst refraining from poking my eyes out with a blunt object

Is that a goal? I dunno.

I wrote this post in two parts, at two completely different times during the day, reflecting two completely different moods/psychological states.  Living with me is currently like living with the 7 Dwarfs - No, NOT Snow White, but her moody little friends. You just never know what dwarf is present (grumpy? happy? suicidal - wait, is that a dwarf?)

The first half was written in the morning when I was feeling quite sorry for myself; whereas the second half was written at the end of the day after a few fabulous friends stopped by, which certainly succeeded in lifting my mood. Hold on tight...you're in for a wild ride - welcome to life with multiple personality Kirstie post surgery!

Part 1: Depressed Kirstie (11am - pre-visit from friends)

I'm feeling a little lost right now and could probably use some advice/guidance/wine/antidepressants.

grow, cartilage, grow damnit!

I attended my follow-up appointment with Orthopedic Surgeon, Dr. M. It was...um...sobering. First off, he reiterated the seriousness of my injury and stressed the importance of the next 6-8 weeks in terms of my recovery. He performed micro fracture surgery. He essentially broke my bone in 3 places (yes, I will never forget that sound) in order to promote the natural healing process which involves the production of new cartilage. Currently, there are only shreds of...well...crap that lies between my knee bones. In the next 6-8 weeks the goal is to produce new cartilage that will act as a cushion between these bones. Although this new cartilage will never be as durable as hard cartilage should be, it is, at least, something. So I have one shot for this to work. It is so important that in the next 2 months I do not do ANYTHING to jeopardize this cartilage growth. No bumbing, no weightbearing, no bending. No pressure. Yikes. I tried to convince Dr. M that I probably only require 4-6 weeks as I am an exceptional healer. I am in fantastic shape, I've always been an overachiever and I'm quite certain that I'm totally advanced as far as cartilage growing is concerned. No go.

The other bit of sobering news was the talk about "my future." Somberly, Dr. M began to list activities/sports that I will not likely be able to participate in, even after my 6 months of rehabilitation are complete. As he listed off running, golf, tennis, basketball, and raquetball, I sighed with relief. Wakesurfing and scuba diving did not appear to be on the list. Hallelujah! It's difficult, at age 33, to hear that there are now limits on what I am physically able to do. I hate running; however, tell me that I will never run again and suddenly I ache to enter the Boston marathon. And although I've never excelled at tennis, I suddenly have an urge to don one of the those cute little skirts on the tennis court. Damn limitations.

So now I'm stuck at home for the next 6-8 weeks, completely dependent on others to bathe me, feed me, and take me places. I'm trying to think positively, but I find my positive thoughts quickly bending into negative thoughts ("I get to spend some time at my "happy place," Candle Lake. But I have to watch everyone do the things that I can't do and my tan lines from my brace are going to be horrendous..and my knee f'n hurts!!!"). I also made the mistake of googling micro fracture surgery. I've found quite a few athletes, especially NBA basketball players, who have endured the same procedure. I also found the phrase "career suicide for athletes" amongst those articles. There goes my Olympic dreams, damnit.

 Boo, Kirstie, Boo. Can someone get me a waaaaaaamburger and french cries? Call me a waaaaaaambulance?

Colleen, my Spanish instructor extraordinaire, recently endured a long recovery from knee surgery as well. She offered me fantastic advice, "You are allowed to wallow in your self pity for a little bit - it's shitty....but it's just about time to pick yourself up and carry on."

She's right. So, I will focus on growing this cartilage like it's my job whilst keeping positive thoughts in the forefront of my brain.

Part 2: Happy Kirstie post visit with fabulous friends (10pm)

I had three separate visits from three fantastic friends today that totally succeeded in lifting my mood. Lawyer's husband brought me a Nanaimo bar (because if I was living in Nanaimo, I'm quite certain that my cartilage would NOT have torn because bad things NEVER happen in Nanaimo. Evan actually argues that because Nanaimo isn't flat like the prairies, as long as I only walked in one direction, I could alleviate pressure off the bad knee). My sister Kayla helped feed me supper (the sister whose volleyball career I almost ruined through the longboarding incident of 2011). And Lisa Wallin, my fabulous physio, stopped by with a brilliant suggestion for my June goal. My planned June goal, "learn how to unicycle," (Holowaty would have been so proud) is obviously out.

Lisa Wallin suggested Pinterest as part of my goal for the month of June. Initially, I scoffed at the idea. I see pinterest shit all over facebook - check out this recipe, hairstyle, this great crafty craft craft. Ugh. It so has never appealed to me. I'm not a crafty person. I don't scrapbook. I don't restore antique furniture for fun. It just doesn't look like something I'm interested in.

Best Idea Ever?

But then I poured myself a wee bit of wine (my first since the surgery) and began to browse. My first impression was: Did all these people tear their cartilage because man, how do they have so much time on their hands? Soon; however, I was completely lost in the "craft and DIY" section.....

oooooh.....you can make a glass out of a Corona bottle? Are you kidding me? How? Tell me! Tell me!

aaaahhhhh....you can turn wine labels into fabulous candle decorators? Well, who doesn't love a wine label?

oooooo.....exfoliate your lips with a homemade concoction of sugar and lemon? Well that sounds nice....

SOLD! I'm ready to pinterest my month away!

I hope this still sounds like a good idea in the morning.