Worst dance ever.

I'm not gonna lie to you, after my triumphant return to wake surfing last week, I became a little cocky. I felt amazing after that surf. My knee felt great! I began walking with a little strut in my step (vs. the horrid limp). I started squatting just a bit lower in physio. I made comments like, "yep, should be on the longboard in a few weeks." Confidence was high...until that asshole crutch came back from the depths of Candle Lake to seek its revenge on my unsuspecting knee. (I'm fully aware that this is impossible; however, I feel it necessary to blame something right now. I choose the crutch).

It all started Thursday with a catch. Followed by a "click." Followed by horrendous seizing. As I simultaneously gripped my knee and screamed, "Oh shit! Oh shit!" (much to the dismay of the patient I was assessing), I knew that something had gone wrong. Again.

Dr. M agreed to see me immediately. As he walked through that examination door, I saw something on his face that I haven't yet seen - pity. Damnit. C'mon, Dr. M, tell me to "suck it up!" I needed his tough love - I had no idea how to react to his sympathy.

Mr. M's assessment technique was...well..unique to say the least.

"Put on your dancing shoes. Let's dance," he ordered, holding his hands out in front of him.

Wondering where the hell this was headed, I placed my hands in his.

"Now stand on your bad leg and do a little hop."

I followed orders and immediately felt that catch, followed by the "click," resulting in the seizing which (surprise surprise) caused me to almost fall to the ground (Dr. M held strong) whilst repeating, "Oh Shit! Oh Shit!"

"See what a jerk I am! You thought we were going to have a nice dance, but instead you almost fell on the ground!"

Yup - this guy is serious. Dr M smiled at me compassionately? and as much as I wanted to hate him - I didn't. I have no idea why. I suppose this man is growing on me. I do appreciate the time he takes to explain things to me and the speed at which he acts. He's just a little unconventional. I mean, only a unique individual would dedicate his life to bones. I'm beginning to become accustomed to his ways as I navigate this strange world of orthopaedics that I literally stumbled into.

This is exactly what it looked like. Nope. Not at all. 

Long story short, the "dancing" test indicates that something is torn. We're hopeful it's now the meniscus because that will require another surgery and we all know how fricken hilarious I am in the OR.

I'd be lying if I said that I'm not bummed out. I'm trying to remain calm, stay chipper,  and remind myself that this will get better (and it certainly could be a lot worse), but, honestly, at times, I feel defeated.

I had every intention of completing Ryan's video and sharing it with the world this week. This may be selfish of me, but I'm not able to finish it just yet. I'm struggling to complete it right now. I want to be in the right frame of mind when I write my final post on all the amazing things I've learned this year - all the things that Ryan has taught me....and right now, I feel like I'm in the middle of learning another life lesson. So...please be patient.

In the meantime, I'm focusing on all the positive things presently in my life...my supportive family and friends, the fact that my adorable nephew as finally pooped in the potty (Yay Mark!), sparkly lipgloss, a good laugh, and Full House re-runs (just to name a few). In addition, I am determined to make crutches the next must-have fall accessory. If you can't beat 'em (or drown them in Candle Lake), join 'em. So there.