So I may have overreacted. This is surprising, as I'm not one who typically embelishes, exaggerates, or overdramatizes events (snicker snicker). I did not break my sit bone. It's fine. To be honest, it's a little disappointing, given the severity of my fall, that I have absolutely nothing other than a small quarter sized bruise on my left cheek to show for it. Don't get me wrong. I did not want to break my sit bone. From the comments provided on facebook, it is apparent that many have experienced such an event. I have a feeling it may be linked to chidbirth, but since we're being honest here, I don't want to know. Don't tell me.
Following the "sit bone" incident, I consulted my coach, "Think I broke my ass. Please advise." To which he responded, "Don't forget the foot break." Foot break? Right. I was so wrapped up with steeze that I forgot about the foot break. Anxiously awaiting my next lesson, I dedicated my next practice session to foot breaking (using my back foot to slow myself down when needed).
Ev accompanied me on my practice rides and has taken a keen interest in my new sport; however, I feel he has ulterior motives, other than to provide support. He wants to ride. He wants to get good. I caught him using my board on the sly and didn't like it. Don't get me wrong, he has every right to take up this awesome sport - in October. Once I've reached my goal. Ev told me that I reminded him of a fish, while providing an uncanny fish imitation (puckered lips, fins flapping). I shook my head when he asked if I knew what kind of fish I reminded him of. No, but this is going to be good. "A selFISH," he replied. Bahaha. Yep, he's right.
So ego slightly bruised (quarter-sized to be exact), I entered 10 foot touque for my next lesson. I'm not gonna lie to you - it was epic. Fantastic lesson! Check it out:
5:30: Meet with Randy. No Bass today (perhaps he's at a textathon :). No lawyer (She's busy crime fighting). Randy inquires about my ass. It's fine. Let's go!
5:40: We head down to the Riverbank to conquer the Rotary Trail. It's hot. 33 above. There's a drunk man laying under a tree. I'm pretty sure I saw him exit detox this a.m (I wasn't at detox, by the way, I work next to it) Yikes. That didn't work well for that man.
5:45: I show Randy my moves. He's impressed! He says I look much more comfortable on the board. Confidence is high.
5:50: Randy shows me the steps I will need to learn in order to land my trick. Oh yes, my trick. Frick, why didn't I just aspire to "be steezy on a longboard." I had to insert that damn trick. I will consult my lawyer and see if we can remove that clause from the contract.
6:00: In order to perform my trick, ...wait for it..." THE TIGER CLAW" (sounds ferocious, doesn't it?), I will need to learn how to "pop" my board whilst riding (side goal: to include the word "whilst" in every single blog post).
6:05: Popping the board is tough. I channel Snoop (Melissa, you would be sooo proud), and start a little rap as I carve down the trail, "when the pimps in the crib ma, POP it like it's hot." Randy doesn't know this song. He's a metalhead. Apparently he's not into Tiffany either. I'm pretty sure he just needs some exposure.
6:15: We run into rocks/branches/debris on the trail. I ask Randy, "What do you call it when you have to ride through shit?" (thinking there's some clever longboarding term for such an event). "Riding through shit, " he replies. Can't have that. We put our heads together and come up with "Shriding" Not to be confused with "shredding." Perfect. Riding through shit=shriding. Shriding is bad.
6:30: things are going well. My popping is improving (with the help of SNOOP D-O double G), I feel much more comfortable with my carving, and I've been reacquainted with the foot breaking technique (Where were YOU on Tuesday, foot break?). I'm riding with like 20-45% steeze (If I had to put a number on it).
6:40: Randy provides a hot insider tip: Never say, "last try" when you're attempting a trick. It's always the "last try" that results in an accident. Say, "2nd last try." Got it. Not sure exactly WHO we're trying to fool, but I like it. Sneaky.
6:45: Randy shows me the "Look Back." This is awesome. The look back is a sweet little move that you perform when you're steezy on your longboard and a hot chick/guy walks by. You want to check this hot person out, without interrupting your ride, or indicating that you really care that much. It's like, "hey, you're hot...but I'm too busy being steezy on my board. Check you later." I love this move. It cracks me up. See video below.
7:00: Randy asks if I'd like to continue. Hells ya! Then I notice that the path is now running right along side the river with only a handrail separating me from the North Saskatchewan. Now that's a recipe for disaster. How about let's quit now, I reply.
7:05: We run into another interesting PA character. He's chatty. He wants to tell us about his seizures, which he adamantly argues are the result of "a big bag of bad BC weed." Oh dear. I tell him that he should take that talk to the schools anti-drug talk circuit.
7:15: We head back to the store. What a fantastic day! Ev's there, creeping on the boards. Randy shows him a really sweet Boscu board. "This is the one you want, "he says, "in October, of course." Now that's a loyal coach!
Check out the videos:
No comments:
Post a Comment