It's All right...Cuz I'm Saved By the Bell

A.C Slater. The Legend. 

I finally got off of studyspanish.com (like a bad episode of "Intervention") and enticed 3 friends (including the lawyer) to study along. They are hooked as well. I'm like the dealer of beginner Spanish. I had to get off and harness all that excelente energy into the composition of my first fan letter to my favorite Latino star. Well, have I got a Latino star for you! Saturday mornings as a pre-teen would not have been the same without A.C Slater and the crew from "Saved by the Bell." That's right, I'm writing my first fan letter en espanol to Mario Lopez! This guy's hot. Not only physically, but professionally. While Kelly Kapowski (Tiffany Amber Thiesen) has been noticeably absent since her stint on 90210 and Screech (Dustin Diamond) is furthering his career with starring roles in raunchy sex tapes, Mario's career is exploding, with a consistent hosting gig on "America's Best Dance Crew," voiceovers for "The Dog Who Saved Xmas Vacation," (who hasn't seen that one?) and a starring role in his new reality TV show, "Saved by the Baby." In addition, he found the time to produce a female "mini-me" - a new daughter named Gia! To be honest, I always preferred A.C Slater to Zac. It's obvious when you look at Ev. I married a man who is the splitting image of Mario Lopez. If I got a penny for every time someone commented on the resemblance, I would be a rich rich woman. Maybe not.

Mario, is that you?

Like Evan with a tan

I sat down to write my letter to Mario Lopez and created some rules for myself: Rule 1: Must not use online English to Spanish translation. Anyone could do that. That would be cheating. I must compose this letter strictly with the vocabulary and verbs that I am currently studying. Rule 2: I must write from el corizon (the heart, of course).

A little known fact about Mario...No Espanol!

I met with my fabuloso instructor espanol, Colleen, and she began proof-reading my letter. She didn't actually comment, but it was obvious that she was mucho impressed with the depth of my writing. As she proof-read the letter, making suggestions along the way, her boyfriend, Jason, wandered in and out of the room. Each time he entered the room, he had a new and interesting fact about Mario Lopez, "Don't forget to mention his role in Honey 2, " "He was totally sleeping with his dance partner when he was on 'Dancing with the Stars," "His first marriage was annulled after a few weeks, you know." Holy shit. How does Jason have so much useless Mario Lopez knowledge? He's like the Cliff Clavin of Mario Lopez. Amazing. Finally, after several hours of working on this letter, Colleen urged me to practice reading it out loud. Jason entered the room again to listen to my heartfelt letter. Once I eloquently read the letter, Colleen asked Jason, "What do you think?" to which Jason replied, "You do know that Mario Lopez doesn't actually speak Spanish, don't you?"

No Way. Serious? As if. Shit. You mean, I totally stereotyped this dude based on his Spanish-sounding name and the fact that he did speak a little Spanish on an episode of "Saved by the Bell"??? Oh dear. You know what, this is fine. He can learn along with me or use the English-Spanish online translation to understand this letter. Jason informed me that Mario's new Spanish-speaking wife would be more than capable of reading the letter to him. So there. Next letter; however, I will do a little more research first. Sorry Mario!

Here it is folks (English translation in Bold) PS: settle down Spanish geeks: I'm fully aware the punctuation is not accurate; however, I can't figure out how to access spanish punctuation on blogger.com.

Hola Sr. Lopez  Hi Mr. Lopez (very respectful)

Que hay? Como estas? Estoy muy bien! me llamo Kirstie y tengo 32 ans. Soy de Saskatchewan, Canada
What's up? How are you? I am very well! My name is Kirstie and I am 32 years old. I am from Saskatchewan, Canada (so far, very informative, don't you think? At this point, he's questioning whether I am "special")


Cual es el origin de tu familia?
Where is your family from? (people love when you ask about them)


Estudio espanol porque tengo un blog. Miralo! www.kirstie-seizetheday.blogspot.com. Es fabuloso!
I am studying Spanish because I have a blog. Take a look! www.kirstie-seizetheday.blogspot.com. It is fabulous! (if I do say so myself! haha, I had to use Fabuloso - love it. I can just picture Mario shouting, (shirtless, of course) "where's a computer? I need to see this fabulous blog!")


Escribo a tu porque me gusta tu! Me gusta "Saved by the Bell." Me gusta Slater porque Slater es guapo!
I am writing to you because I like you. I like "Saved by the Bell." I like Slater because Slater is good looking (super deep, I know - one whole chapter of the text was on "I like." What can I say?)


Slater tiene un fanny pack, y tu? Que esta adente el fanny pack - un docena cervaza? jeje. Me gusta cerveza, y tu?

Best lunchbox ever. Ever.

Slater has a fanny pack. Do you? What is in your fanny pack - a dozen beer?  hehe (laughing in Spanish is jeje) I like beer, do you? (I feel like this is the part where my true personality really shines through, you know?)
   
Yo solomente se los verbos en conjugacion presente! jeje
I only know how to use present tense verbs. haha. 


Tengo un esposa. Me esposa es un bombero. Me gusta digo, "donde esta el carro de bomberos, Evan!" jeje!
I have a husband (he needs to know that I'm not trying to pick him up, given the sexiness of my letter thus far). My husband is a firefighter. I like to say, "Where is the firetruck, Evan?" haha (I just had to fit this in the letter somewhere. It's just so good). 


Mi amiga es una abogada. Si yo ofendo usted, hablas con ella.
My friend is a lawyer. If I offend you, you can talk to her. (covering all my bases here)

Quiene son tus amigos?

Quiene son tus amigos? Zac? Kelly? Screech? You se. Tu gusta Jessie!
Who are your friends? Zac? Kelly? Screech? I know. You like Jessie (demonstrating my in-depth knowledge of "Saved by the Bell.")


Felicitaciones! tu tienes una nueva programma de televisiones - "Saved by the Baby!" y une familia bonita.
Congratulations! you have a new TV show called "Saved by the Baby" and a beautiful family!
(thanks for the tip, Cliff - er, I mean Jason)


Siempre en me corizon,
Kirstie
Always in my heart,
Kirstie
P.S: Hablas Espanol?
P.S: do you speak Spanish?


Running to slip this in the mailbox ASAP. I can't wait to hear back from him!!


 This is when Slater captured me corizon: