November Goal: Write to my favorite Latino Stars...In Spanish

Ola Antonio. Let's speak sexy talk.

I've always wanted to learn how to speak Spanish. I did take beginner lessons briefly last fall; however, I didn't apply myself. I learned enough to head to Mexico and slur, "no mas! no mas! Estamos Barrachas!" (no more. No more. We are drunk.) It was certainly helpful - Ev, Lawyer, and Lawyer's husband appreciated my limited knowledge of the Spanish language the next morning when our dive boat pulled up at 8am to haul our hungover bodies to the bottom of the sea. But I kinda lost interest after our vacation. Looking back, I now realize that I didn't consider my optimal learning style while I was attempting to learn the language. You know how they say that everyone learns differently? Good listeners retain information if it's presented auditorily,  kinesthetic learners do best when they can share in an experience, and visual learners have to be able to see the information to recall it. I am a visual learner. I know that I must write information down in order for my brain to process it. In university, I had like 600 sets of speech definitions on cue cards in my purse at all times (along with ativan and mini bar vodka bottles). So this time, I will give it my best shot, write it down (and why not in a fan mail to my favorite Latino stars?) and speak the language of love (wait, that's Italian) sexy talk. Yes, the language of sexy talk. Look out!  

I also have an ulterior motive for wanting to learn Spanish. I'll let you in on a little secret. I have a fantasy that I'd love to fulfill. And I will. One day, I shall be on..."House Hunters International." Ev doesn't watch TV very often; however, when he does decide that he'd like to watch a little telly, we can't seem to find a program that we can enjoy together. I have no idea why he dislikes the "Real Housewives of New York" (Go have another Pinot Grigio, Ramona) or loathes "The Bachelor" (like, hello, did ABC really think that Brad Womack could sustain a semi-normal relationship with any woman?), but Ev and I certainly can agree on "House Hunters International." It's a reality TV show on HGTV that follows a couple/family as they look to purchase a home in a foreign country - often in a beautiful tropical location with sweeping views of the Caribbean. Ev and I sip our wine and totally mock discuss the couple's search for the entire 30 minute program, "No, don't pick the 1 bedroom villa. Where the h will your guests stay? GAWD." "That's like a 20 minute walk to the beach. Who wants to spend that much time walking to the beach. GAWD." "You notice how he always has to have his arm around his wife's shoulder like he owns her? - GAWD." In the majority of the episodes, Ev and I totally agree that would have made a much better decision than the couple on TV. Ev and I aren't even close to starring in our own episode just yet. But it's good to be prepared. What does "House Hunters International" have to do with Spanish, you ask? Well, we intend to purchase our home in a tropical climate, and I figure that the majority of tropical climates are Spanish speaking countries, and I'll need to speak Spanish when I'm signing the real estate document. Right? No brainer. Done. Bring it on. Ola! Cerveza! Bano! Por Favor! Arriba!

Pool Rules - last rule: a sure sign that you're in a retirement community :( 

Warning: the following video is super cheeze. Ev and I are currently practicing retirement in Arizona and we've been participating in too many happy hours (Retirement is so flippin awesome! Only 20 plus years away!) Also, I totally forced Ev to participate in the making of this video - he wanted no part of it and I have no idea why.