Mr. Dressup - eat your heart out!

Mission accomplished. I managed to run a CrossFit Kids class for 13 children between the ages of 4-11. Everyone survived. Everyone had fun. Everyone was sweating (including me - frantic, nervous sweat). It's actually no small feat programming a class for that age range. I mean, apparently, 4 year olds do not have much in common with 11 year olds?

I labored over a lesson plan for hours Friday night, incorporating rings, rowers, and kettlebells into the workout. Ev arrived home Saturday morning from his nightshift and immediately kiboshed (gently) my entire lesson plan. "Um....how do you expect 13 kids to do the workout on 5 rowers? Um...rings are kind of disastrous for 4 year olds. Um...did you take into consideration the actual shape of our gym?" oops. I suck. I don't think he'll be hiring me anytime soon. So taking into consideration all of the above, I reprogrammed a kickass crossfit class for the kids...and it kinda rocked.

Upon entering the gym to find 13 children staring at me expectantly, I almost threw up in my mouth. Just a little. And then I realized that these kids were not the enemy. They wanted to be my friend. Most of the kids who participated were children of fellow saskpro crossfit members - so, naturally, they were all really great kids.

As I wrote the lesson plan on the whiteboard, 26 little eyes bore into the back of my head and I was suddenly transported back into my nightmare of teaching kindergarten. I took a deep breath and with as much enthusiasm as possible, began explaining the class. They listened. They actually listened to me. 26 little ears, all tuned in to each and every word. Can you say power trip? :)

We began the class by warming up with animal walks. I immediately informed the children that "Dundee, the little white dog," was, in fact, mine. They were impressed. I needed them on my side. Although we incorporated the traditional "penguin," "seal," and "bear" walk, I also creatively threw in the "pissing dog," which was quite a hoot, if you ask me.

We then moved on to a super awesome obstacle course where the kids jumped through ladders, climbed under benches, forward rolled, and threw balls in targets. When you're running a class with kiddos, logistics are quite important. Like when exactly does the 2nd child go? How exactly do you hand the ball to the next person? What does it mean to "stand in line?" Kids really want concrete direction. Yelling, "whatevs, just keep going!" freaks them out just a little bit. Oh well.

I then became alarmed as the children began to circle me (like wolves stalking prey), but soon realized that I had asked them to form a circle around me (They're still listening to me??) I taught them how to squat by using the thumbs up technique to guide the placement of their feet, and then promptly discussed the dangers of hitchhiking (you're welcome, parents).

We then moved on to a traditional CrossFit workout. I expected this to be the most painful part of the class - it just didn't seem too exciting on paper. I planned a Tabata (8 rounds of 20 seconds on, 10 seconds off) of: squats, burpees, ball slams, and planks. Guess what? They loved it! Who knew? Why do children love burpees? Every adult knows that burpees suck...no one has informed the children. Wow. I was also amazed at the abilities of the little guys. 4 year olds holding a plank for 20 seconds then picking up a 10 pound ball and throwing it to the ground? Fantastic!

I then planned a game of dodgeball, which I was hoping would appeal to the older kids; however, I  didn't anticipate that the force of a ball thrown by an 11 year old would be no match for a 4 year old. I immediately put a stop to that game when a sweet little 5 year old was hit square in the face. Smack! Shit. Please don't cry. Please don't cry. She didn't. She was a trooper. It's all cool.

For the grand finale, I brought the kids in and explained that I am the headstand champion of the world. One kid called me on it. Semantics. I tried again, "If there was a world headstand championship, I would totally win." The children looked quite impressed. I could get used to this. I then challenged them to a competition. While I maintained a headstand position on the mat, the kids had 1 minute to throw as many balls as possible with the goal of knocking me over. It was kind of awesome for 2 reasons:
1) The kids liked it
2) Let's be honest. I now had 26 eyes watching me do my headstand! It was like an only child's dream come true. Watch me! Watch this!

As balls slammed into my back, shoulder, and the wall behind me, I stood my ground. I contemplated "fake falling" for dramatic effect at the 58 second mark; however, immediately decided that this was a "life skills learning opportunity." You can't always win kids. When the buzzer sounded and I had maintained my rock solid headstand for 1 minute, I jumped up in celebration and shouted, "I win! I win!" Whoot! Whoot!

Overall, it was a positive experience. The children were enthusiastic and very well behaved...and they were cool kids. It was actually fun. Not scary at all :)

Thanks to the following saskpro members who trusted me with their children/nieces for an hour:
Geoff and Lori
Terina
Joy
Deb
Derek
Rob
Lawyer

Thank goodness February "face my fears cara a cara" month is over. It stressed the hell out of me. But I must say, I'm pretty proud of myself. I can't believe I went diving with sharks, channelled Ev in net,  and successfully ran a crossFit class for 13 kiddos. That's a solid month!

Stay tuned for my March goal. I can honestly say that it is epic. Ryan would high-pitch squeal obscenities at this one. I can't wait to share it with you guys!